Why I've Never Dated: Finding first love

Wait, what?

Nope. That's not a lie. That's 100% true. I've never been on a date before. Why? I could tell some sob story about how I'm forever alone, but I really don't believe that. I'm not a whiner. If I focused on the fact that I've been single for nearly twenty years I would probably hate my life. That's pointless. I've done enough pointless things in my life to know where to draw the line. Not limited to blogging.

Regardless. I recently wrote a blog post about how not having a dance partner can be better for you. The same rules apply for relationships:

You need to learn to love yourself before you can learn to love someone else.

In elementary school, while playing Harry Potter on the playground (I was Hermionie, in case you were wondering) with two of my best friends, the one boy that played the role of Harry walked me into the tires and told me that he loved me. We were too young to understand love.

In middle school I was still much too young to understand what relationships were. I was so insecure that I didn't care what clothes I wore or how I dressed or whether or not people wanted to talk to me. I had to tell my gym teacher in seventh grade that I was female and that I didn't want her to put me into the boys' locker room.

In high school the same rules applied. I looked different than all of the other girls. I was insecure. I had short hair, I didn't have boobs or curves, and I didn't have friends after my best friend of 5 years was offended when I jokingly commented that people that read Twilight needed to read better literature. I stuck my nose in my books and no one talked to me. But I didn't talk to anyone else. I hated the way that I dressed, the way that I looked, the way that everything around me was going. Plus, let's be honest. Everyone I went to high school with kind of sucked.

When I came to university, I found a great place that lasted a year. The people helped me, I hate to be cliche, but they helped me come out of my shell. I started talking to people and dressing relatively more to how I wanted to dress. I still didn't look like other girls, but I didn't want to look like other girls. I hate long hair, I still hate wearing makeup. But at college there were more people like me. I felt more comfortable, and I found the other half that I was looking for. I found me and I fell in love for the first time in my life (Pierce Brosnan, as sexy as he is, did not count).

And now, a year after finding that self, I'm happy.

So take a bath, feed yourself, write yourself poetry. Get drunk because you want to get drunk. Fix your hair in the mirror because you want to look great for yourself. Listen to "I'm Too Sexy" on repeat. Learn all the words. Lip synch very poorly to them while you get read in the morning. Find a song that's just you. Learn all the words to Ice Ice Baby. Dance poorly. Master the wobble.

Find someone that loves everything that you love about yourself.