Alright, but this time it probably isn't a secret that I activated a so-called online dating profile.
Do I plan on seriously using it to look for potential mates? I don't know.
Do I think anything will come of it? No idea.
Do I even want something to come of it? Maybe, but probably not.
Well then why the fuck does it exist? I got bored, okay? No harm intended. I was curious to talk to people in hopes of finding a shred of human decency on the internet (HAH) and maybe make a few friends.
I think my longest conversation was maybe 10-15 messages, at least 5-8 of which included hockey, and 4 of which included food.
But, while scrolling and occasionally receiving messages, I've had some interesting thoughts.
Maybe this is me trying to be funny. Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe it's too late for me to be awake with a little sleep deprivation. Or maybe online dating just really sucks.
------
Wait did you actually just write me a love poem are you serious I have one photo posted and literally I haven't put any information on my profile.
Okay, yes. Yes I get it that the fact I'm holding an iron and an umbrella while wearing a hardhat is interesting.
why are you even messaging me our match percent is literally 0. stop.
o look you're holding a gun. cool.
seriously how is your hair longer than mine oh my god like how do people do it? i get so annoyed with long hair HOW.
i need to keep a tally of how many shirtless mirror pics there are on this damn site holy fuck.
NO. no i am judging you do NOT use your flash while taking a photo in a mirror are you dumb?
i secretly judge all of your profile photos holy crap i need to just not. stop dani stop.
are you even 26 you look like you're in your 40s???
oh cool you're bleeding you should probably get that looked at.
o look a dog.
o look a hockey player. boy got flow.
oh god another wolverine.
shit is he wearing a black hawks jersey?
wait didn't i graduate with you?
you might actually be a serial killer.
HELP ME.
