A resignation

Consider this my New York Times letter by Don Draper, in which I am officially handing in my resignation from love, dating, relationships and everything in between. It isn't a sudden notion, more one that has been looming on the horizon for years.

I'm quitting the world of false promises and empty feelings for good.

And before this gets out of hand and I become some bitter college student who thinks her opinions are the world's problems, this isn't something I've considered lightly and it's certainly not something that I'm considering with a bitter tone. I'm willfully making this decision with very little to no pain.

In fact it's probably going to be a lot less harmful this way.

Over the years I've played this game. No board, no monopoly money, no rules. And the numerous times I've sat down with my game face on, I happen to pull the same card: Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. So I'm withdrawing my playing piece.

Sometimes you have to put the games away before you can appreciate them again.

It's like that scene in The Santa Clause 2, when all of the adults at the Christmas party are given gifts representing their childhoods. They get excited.

Perhaps love is the same. You pursue it for a little while, realize you hate the game and you put it away, only to take it out years later, dust it off, and try to play again.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. 

So after an incredible losing streak, I'm putting the game into a box and tucking it into the closet. I'll forget about the existence for a little while, pursue other things, grow up. 

Focusing on yourself isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

Perhaps, in trying to turn myself into a better person, a playing board will stumble into my lap. It's incredibly doubtful, since they don't exactly have legs, but the option exists.

This isn't a lock down. This isn't a bitter declaration against love. 

This is simply a resignation, a statement that I will not engage in playing games anymore. I won't pursue a win, and I certainly won't pursue someone to play games with.

I'll let them come to me and, if the time is right, perhaps the cards will fall into play.